The Coastal Post - February, 1999

Y2K: Food, Fuel And Firearms
By Kirby Ferris

The Millennium Bug might be viewed as the most gigantic IQ test in the history of mankind. The cranially challenged individual totally ignores the growing possibility that a part or most of our civilization might be rocked to the foundations. This fool blindly believes the ass covering spokesman for the federal, state, and local governments, the mega corporations, banks, stock brokerages and other assorted disinformationists who daily spout the completely unfounded declarations that their department, company or group is Y2K "ready."(See if they ever use the legally definitive and binding term "compliant." Let me tell you, they don't.)

For all you doubters out there I suggest you check out the article by Robert Sam Anson in the January 1999 issue of "Vanity Fair" magazine. Stop reading this right here and get a copy of that article. Read it. Think about it.

Now continue reading this, because I'm going to quit wasting time and energy in this column explaining the details of the crisis Y2K presents. You just read the best explanation I've come across. Knowledgeable, scholarly people from every political spectrum are coming to the same conclusion: This Millennium Bug screw up could be, I repeat, COULD BE, horrendous.

If you have the slightest bit of human intelligence rattling around in your skull, you should plan on Y2K being an immense, horrendous, terrifying, apocalyptic, bone crushing ass kicker of an event. Planning for the worst won't cost you a penny in the long run. In fact, if Y2K doesn't happen, you immediate planning for the worst will likely save you money in the long run. Hear me out.

STORE EXTRA FOOD: Even the American Red Cross is advising this. Present cost for a year's supply of long shelf life storage food is running between $1,500 and $2000. For that price you get three meals a day with a calorie count of from 2,000 to 2,500 per day. Suppose you spend the money and have a year's worth of food stashed away and Y2K is a non-event. You just eat the food. You would have had to buy food anyway. You don't complain when year after year your good health prevents you from needing that expensive health insurance policy you've been paying for, do you? Your insurance policy money is gone for good, but you still buy the coverage, don't you? If it's alarmist mentality to buy storage food and not alarmist mentality to buy health insurance I fail to see the logic. Also, if Y2K is a non-event, you can get a tax write off by simply donating all that storage food to your favorite homeless shelter or church charity.

STORE EXTRA FUEL: If the electrical grid goes down for a couple of days, or a week, or for months, you will be very glad you have stored extra fuel for your heating system, emergency lighting system, and your automobile (gas pumps and refineries need electricity). If Y2K doesn't happen how can you complain that you've got fifty gallons of gasoline stashed in safe containers? Just pour it in your car and keep on truckin'! So what if you've got two extra cords of firewood piled in the back yard. Don't buy more until you've used it all in your wood stove or fireplace. You've got ten gallons of kerosene (for kerosene lamps) you didn't use because Y2K didn't hit? Take the unopened can back to the store you bought it from and ask them to buy it back from you. I'll bet that kerosene will be more expensive a year from now than it is now. It makes sense to have a propane water heater instead of an electric water heater. The same goes for a propane stove versus an electric stove. Replacing your water heater and stove and converting to propane is likely to increase the equity value in your house anyway. So if you've done so in preparation for Y2K, and the Millennium Bug doesn't hit, you've made a good investment and you simply don't buy any more propane until you've used up your emergency stash.

BUY FIREARMS AND AMMUNITION: This one make the liberals squeal like a pig. But I don't frigging care. I don't have much faith in human nature. I just can't seem to muster the naive wonder in angelic humanity that the bleeding heart liberal gushes and spouts. Rwanda, Serbia, Indonesia, Angola, Columbia, Guatemala and Nigeria remind me of how truly trust worthy our fellow human beings can be. And back here in the good old U.S. of A. we are talking about a civilization that now revels in moral relativism and has come to expect (or better said: demand) a free lunch from the teat of Big Mommy/Daddy government (a.k.a. you, the American taxpayer). The average American doesn't have the "old fashioned" moral fiber that our ancestors had. The crime rate during the Great Depression was extremely low, even though folks were desperately stricken. A starving man will likely try to steal your food, food that you are, by all standards of common sense and morality, required to "hoard" for your own family and loved ones. If you are armed it is not a guarantee that you won't be plundered. But it cuts the odds way down, and it allows you to exercise the free choice of giving some food to the needful person who is asking, not demanding. If you buy a gun and a thousand rounds of ammunition I can assure you that you can sell it for what you invested if Y2K doesn't happen. If you own a gun it is a good idea to keep the ammo and gun separated and you might even consider keeping the bolt of your rifle stashed somewhere super secret. If anyone were to steal your gun they would have to shop around for the part that is missing before they could use it. I believe that the most practical protection against looters, in a situation when the cops or National Guard can't (or won't) do anything, is an armed and unified neighborhood. Trust me, if Y2K hits, 911 ain't gonna cut it.

Ask yourself why Y2K has so many people in such a state of quivering denial. The "debunkers" are really getting pissy about the whole thing, aren't they? The world as you know it might very well end. In less than a year, your only true wealth might be the food and cash you have on hand. The first might be last and the last might be first. You still have the time and the wherewithal to prepare for what just might be the most incredibly disruptive event in human history. Don't blow it. If you willfully refused to prepare, and you go groveling to the person who did prepare, you perhaps deserve to die, a stark reminder that Darwin might have been right. That is why Y2K is history's greatest IQ test.

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