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May, 2007



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By Larry Kelley

"I do not think the money is 'missing' per se but probably the governmentjust hasn't figured out whether it used the money or spent it and, if so, on what. -- blogger Ernie Kush
It's hard to be a liberal these days. So little to cheer about, while the likes of Newt Gingrich tells ABC News that "liberalism" is the cause for the West Virginia Tech massacre as well as Columbine. So it was momentarily refreshing to see two L-word people making news on the same day.
Rocker Sheryl Crow got into it with recent temp-rapper Karl Rove ("Bush's Brain") on global warming, while SF Mayor Gavin Newsom got into it with the another crowd by forcefully re-declaring his town a sanctuary for immigrants. San Francisco is not the only city in the country to designate itself a

sanctuary for immigrants, but the most high profile. Newson stated to the press that he would not allow police or anyone working for the City of San Francisco to cooperate with federal immigration raids. "Make no mistake about it," he declared. "We are a sanctuary city. Wow. Someone actually standing up to federal regulations! Break out the lava lamp!

Crow and activist Laurie David, producer of Al Gore's global warming documentary, "An Inconvenient Truth," argued with Rove at the White House Correspondents Dinner in Washington, the Washington Post reported, urging him to take another look at global warming. David told MSNBC that Rove "got hostile" and "it was all down hill from there."

The Washington Post reported that things got so heated that Crow stepped in and told Rove, "You cannot talk to me like the, "We are the American people,"

No connection to this incident, but Crow recently told MSNBC that she is recommending that people use only "one square of tissue per rest room visit, more for pesky situations." See how hard it is to be a liberal? Crow also has designed a disposable sleeve to replace paper napkins while eating.

A week earlier, Rove had distinguished himself at the Radio and TV Correspondents Dinner with perhaps the most ridiculous and embarrassing song and dance routines anyone has seen, anywhere, ever. While viewing the video, in which he calls himself MC Rove and reveals himself as the squarest human on the planet, I had the odd sense of feeling embarrassed for my species, almost as much as when he said on January 19, '05 that George Bush is "one of the most intellectually gifted presidents we've had."

The ever-grateful Bush once called Rove "turd blossom" (affectionately), explaining that it is a Texan term for "a flower that grows from a pile of cow dung,"

Perhaps the most accurate description of Rove the PR man comes from Neal Gabler of the L.A.Times: "All politicians operate within an Orwellian nimbus where words don't mean what they normally mean. But Rovism posits that there is no objective verifiable reality at all. Reality is what you say it is."

Speaking of embarrassing public displays, Republican presidential candidate John MCain recently offered the world a Beach Boy's song parody, in which the senator from Arizona sang, "Bomb Iran, Bomb, Bomb. Bomb Bomb Iran," to the tune of "Barbara Ann." It was sacrilegious on many levels, not the least

being the fact that we're not at war with Iran. McCain said critics should "lighten up and get a life."

The next day, an anti-MCain ad stated, "We can't afford another reckless president." To comfort the proles, White House spokesman Tony Snow described talk of a U.S. invasion of Iran as "urban myth," which, according to Rovism, means Iran is next.

* *

Bush told the country recently that Alberto Gonzalez's testimony before the House Judiciary Committee, "increased my confidence in his ability to lead," after the attorney general responded "I don"t recall" 74 times to questions about the firing of eight Justice Department attorneys, five of whom were investigating Republicans. One Republican member of the committee described the Gonzalez hearing as "like watching the clubbing of a baby seal."

Democrats and Republicans urged Gonzalez to resign but Bush answered that the AG "answered as honestly as he could," even though, he admitted, he didn't watch the hearing.

MSNBC's Rachael Maddow thought that sounded like Gonzalez was trying, but just couldn't bring himself to be truthful. "You're either being honest or you're not," Maddow reported, adding that 80% of prosecutions under Gonzalez have been aimed at Democrats.

* * *

The President recently criticized Congress for attaching a troop-removal timetable to war-spending bills which he warned "could cause a nuclear arms race." Several days later, he tried another approach, claiming the timetable would cause parents "to have to wait longer for their loved ones to return from the front line. This is unacceptable."

A day earlier, the Pentagon announced that the terms of all units in Iraq and all units going to Iraq would be extended three months.

Democratic Sen. Dick Durbin of the Judiciary Committee, called Iraq "the worst foreign policy mistake in our nation's history."

* * *

The trust fund for Social Security and Medicare will last a year longer than previously estimated, trustees have announced. This means the Social Security trust fund will be exhausted in 2041 and Medicare in 2019. Just wanted to end with some good news.

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