By John Bennett
They said he was hard as nails. They sad he had a tooth missing that his Fairy Godmother made off with, no dime under the pillow. For exhibit A, they had the magnifying glass with which he'd scorched an ant hill when he was 7. Exhibit B was a stack of truancy slips that got him thrown out of the 8th grade. Exhibit C was a dee-wee, drunk driving at the age of 18. The progression, they said, was ominous. What next?
When they found a pound of home grown in his trunk at the age of 23, they slammed him with ten years in Vacaville.
It all led to murder at an Oregon rest stop off I-5 a week after he got out of the slammer at the age of 33.
A spokesperson for Children of Jesus, an L.A. based Christian organization, held up his picture for world-wide T.V. just moments before the lethal injection. "God has His ways of punishing sinners," the spokesperson said, "but there are things we can do to make God's job easier."
This was the kickoff PR event for the new law the Children of Jesus are determined to push through the California legislature-it's called the Meek As Lambs Bill and has already garnered substantial influential support. It requires all children in the state of California to sign a Pledge to Jesus at the age of 8-the idea is to nip trouble in the bud. From that point on until the age of 21, children will be required to submit a monthly report in which they will be encouraged to confess their sins and the suspected sins of their family members. Within a generation, the spokesperson for C of J claimed, sin would be eradicated in the state of California.
"If things go as planned and the bill becomes an amendment to the Constitution," the spokesperson went on to say, "the war in Iraq will come to an end." This, pundits agree, is a strong selling point for the Bill.
Children refusing to sign the pledge, whether of their own volition or under coercion from their parents, would have a Scrutiny File opened on them that would trace their behavioral patterns into adulthood. Such individuals would be labeled Dangerous Children and, for the protection of the general population, would be exempt from due process.
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