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November, 2002

Mootown News Fantasia
By Judy Borello

I have spent a week muddling through the Iraq dilemma. I came to a conclusion after hearing both the right and left take on the subject. I don't follow a party line because I'm

pro-choice, believe in cutting taxes, feel strongly about capital gains and inheritance tax (to get rid of them), and believe in common sense environmental issues.

All the attacks on Bush don't surprise me, living here in the heart of Liberaland. The hypocrisy of calling those people "liberals" is totally "right on." The "liberals" won't allow conservatives to state their feelings or thoughts without bombarding them (the conservatives) with jeers, smears and disdain. That is why a lot of the community goes underground if they are Republican. They are intimidated by the Coastal Post and the Point Reyes Light because they (the writers) usually are coming from the left and sometimes the far left and the conservatives feel if they do speak up, they will be ridiculed!

Well, after saying that, I believe President Bush has a well-meaning strategy by putting the UN on notice that if they don't get the job done, the US will. Makes sense to me! I don't know anybody in their right mind who wants war and I don't know anybody in their right mind who doesn't want peace. The UN has sat around for years not doing their job and if Bush can convince the UN that it will be rendered irrelevant and useless in order to do this, he must show them strength of conviction from the US. Bush's main motivation in this grand show of strength is to push the UN into what they should have been doing for the past 10 years. I believe the UN is anemic and fiddles with their own self-important bullshit

while Rome burns. If Bush's strategy is right and we avoid war by getting the UN off its duff to make Saddam live up to his signed resolutions, then we're none the worse for wear. And if he goads the UN into taking responsibility for Iraq, he should also goad them into pushing Israel into living up to their signed resolutions of giving Palestine their own state which, if the UN had already done this years ago as it should have been done, they could have possibly avoided the tragic killings amongst all Semites (the Jews and the Arabs).

These are the only realistic solutions I can see for peace. If. President Bush can convince the UN to do its rightful job and with the US, Russia, China, Pakistan, India and just recently released information that North Korea has nuclear bombs, then we are all sitting on a powder keg. If a direct hit doesn't get you, certainly the fallout will.

My friend Gene Bonanni reminded me that some years ago the famous horn player Dizzy Gillespie was going to run for president because he was totally despondent over the idea that either LBJ or Goldwater would be the next president. The media asked Dizzy who would he have as his vice-president and he said Phyllis Diller. I thought, as I was laughing, "Not bad, Dizzy. At the very least we could have good music and a lot of laughs."

Let us forget the two-party system of the "Reflublicans" and the "Democraps" and imagine a lot of duos that really say, "Party."

Running on the "Bizarre" Party ticket is Ray Charles and George Carlin. Ray has promised to sing for an hour everyday on national TV except weekends and George Carlin has promised to address the country every morning on national TV and give his take on what's happening here in the US and around the world.

On the ticket for the "Hotsy Totsy" party is Joan Collins, who has just stated on TV that she doesn't use vitamins, herbal tonics, or hormones to stay young, she just says sex and a lot of it will do the job. Her running mate is good ol' "Madonna" who has promised to get down to the real nitty gritty everyday.

Running on the "Grow Green" party is Ringo Star with his new set of drumming sticks shaped like "Mary Jane" plants and his running mate is Barbara Streisand who has just cut her new songs, "Forever High" and "Poppy Fields Are Here Again."

And, of course, not to be short sighted, running on the "Gay and Happy Party" ticket is Rosie O'Donnell with Elton John beating out Ellen Degenerous for his spot on the ticket. Now Rosie and Elton have decided to marry to strengthen the ticket. "I don't think this is a good idea because it's too straight for a crooked ticket," said a jealous Katy Lang, who was beat out by Rosie.

Then on the local scene we have the "Local Yokel" party with Anastacio Gonzalez and Leroy Martinelli representing the Latinos and Ranching together-a perfect union of the soul of our community.

On the "Keep It Clean" ticket are two sisters battling it out for the number one spot on the ticket, and I say let them both take the spot. Laurie and Linda Sturdivant-one's a go-getter and the other one gets the job done and I guarantee that Point Reyes will never be cleaner. Their partner in clean will be Yule Kadiz, who I've been told has been combing the beach with a brush picking up all kinds of trash.

And lest we forget "The Social Blues" ticket-there are two that fill the bill-Frank Cerda, "the soul-filled eyes" of the community and Tom Kent who can fell any tree and climb any mountain and totally loves the blues.

P.S. Review the candidates and study the issues and vote your conscience-November 5th.

 

 

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