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November 2001

Irony Is Dead, Long Live Propaganda!

By Stephen Simac

We will never negotiate with terrorists, (unless they are our allies, then we'll supply them with weapons and training and call them Freedom Fighters). We are defending America's Freedom, (by eliminating civil liberties).

A Palestinian State has always been part of our policy for the Middle East, (huh)?

Make no Mistake; this is a Crusade for Infinite Justice, (scratch that because it upset Muslims, likewise "the West has the superior civilization.")

The evil ones who attacked us hated American Freedom and Democracy. (Then why were the World Trade Towers and the Pentagon targets, instead of the Statue of Liberty and Congress?)

Congress is unanimous to go $40 billion further into debt for domestic security, (not one penny for better gas mileage for SUV's, and the Social Security Lockbox is just a glass piggy bank). Don't Panic, its not "weaponized" anthrax. (Only made in America anthrax most likely sent by domestic terrorists.)

Go about your business of shopping and reporting any suspicious activity. (Leave the panic to the House of Reps, as they flee to underground shelters.)

Congress immediately bailed out the airlines with $15 billion, even though the same companies had prevented more effective airport security. (Airline executives fired over a hundred thousand workers while holding out their hands for more pork.)

Willful ignorance and blind obedience wrapped in a flag is patriotism. (Pointing out our government's actions in the Middle East as motivation for terrorism is blaming the victims.)

We shouldn't scapegoat our intelligence agencies which sucked up hundreds of billions of tax dollars to prevent this, (instead blame peacemongers and anti-imperial lefties who've never had much influence).

We cannot rule out the use of nuclear weapons to bomb Afghanistan, Iraq or any other country harboring terrorists, regardless of radioactive fallout patterns. (If the terrorists have already secreted suitcase nukes in American cities and retaliate in kind, that would be pure evil. Ignore the government sanctioned terrorists we harbor, train and supply from anti-Castro Cubans to the School of Americas.)

Every conservative kook in the country feels justified in spewing hatred and venom against their favorite domestic target, while loudly calling for unity and one nation indivisible under God. Their pet schemes are now absolutely necessary, including drilling for oil in the Arctic, building vulnerable nuclear power plants in flight paths, spending $100 billion on useless Star Wars and rounding up all aliens and subversives. (Any dissenters should just leave our free country and go to some totalitarian state where they belong.)

Why Do They Hate Us, Let Us County The Ways

It's futile to expect that Americans raised on lies and fairy tale explanations for government foreign policies and actions since W.W.II will suddenly understand that our leaders have no abiding interest in protecting freedom, democracy and human rights.

A frightened country clamoring for revenge isn't likely to see that eliminating one set of enraged Muslims will not change the conditions that infuriated them. Or care that it will create even more.

Turning to Britain and Israel for help in dealing with terrorism will only guarantee us their results, decades of increasingly violent and more sophisticated reprisals.

For a brief period, America had gained almost the entire world's sympathy, support and commitment to work towards bringing all terrorists to justice, including allies and our secret government. Now it's all falling apart.

The fallen firefighters, police officers, other heroes and victims generated an enormous compassion. The volunteer efforts to help in any way showed the true spirit of America. It was an opportunity to reexamine and redirect our wealth, our enormous strength and steer the world into a new century of peace and prosperity.

Instead we have chosen the proven failed path of the last millennia, without even the awareness that it will lead us into WWIII. It will be an asymmetrical war, a new kind of war Bush calls it, but one with just as many innocent victims and abandoned constitutional rights and responsibilities.

The Evil One

Even though the almost everyone in the world is blaming Osama and plenty of clues point in his direction, there are reasonable doubts. The most extensive evidence for his responsibility was presented to the American public by British authorities over the Internet.

Of course we don't get to see special intelligence from our government, but the case presented by a foreign government hardly proved his guilt. In English courts you're guilty until proven innocent though, one of the reasons we split from them.

The official story is that the mastermind was Osama bin Laden, millionaire son of the Palestinian wife of the right hand man of the Saudi Arabian royal family. The bearded one learned warfare in the 1980s with thousands of other Muslims in training camps in Pakistan to fight the Soviet Union in Afghanistan. The mujahedeen were funded partly by US tax dollars, but as soon as they sent the Russians packing in 1989 we abandoned Afghanistan to this pit of alligators. Predictably they set about eating each other until the Taliban took over, with Osama's aid.

Shut That Rooster Up!

Supposedly it's compassion for the victims, but mainly American Amnesia that we don't understand this as a clear example of a rooster coming home. Most of the world says this, not just because of anti-American propaganda coming out of Hollywood. The type that makes us look like violence obsessed, sex crazy, Islam disrespecting people.

American foreign policy in the Middle East is a series of disasters. To be fair British meddling and oil companies conniving created many of the problems. In many ways they set our foreign policies.

Because he is a religious man, Osama has called for killing all Americans.

He's stated his low opinion of us; none of us are innocent in his fatwa. He's publicly threatened to carry them out for years, and he has blood on his hands from embassy and other bombings. We had a case for the Taliban to hand over their guest for trial, and they agreed to extradite him to another country.

Bringing him to court in shackles on worldwide TV would be more humiliating and less likely to make him a martyr than bombing him and a few thousand other Muslims into Paradise. Also far less likely to set off a whole series of mini-crusades for the next few decades.

It's curious that Osama denies being responsible even though he praises God for allowing it, since the results have been popular with fundamentalist Muslims. He's going down anyway and it's their opinion he cares about, not infidels. Possibly because it adds to the terror when no one claims it.

The Usual Suspects

The only group that did claim responsibility, the Japanese Red Army, wasn't taken seriously, even though the hijackers resembled kamikaze pilots more than suicide bombers. Put a turban on a Japanese bearded guy and most Americans will think he's an Arab, except the Japanese will be on time.

In that wreckage how can we really know that every passport used by the hijackers wasn't stolen or taken from dead or murdered people. There's no real way of knowing that the passengers blamed by the FBI were actually the hijackers, not just Arab passengers who liked to fly first class.

If he did organize it from a cave in Afghanistan then he's a formidable adversary, but one a stray bomb can take out. He's probably a lot safer than the civilians or mosques we've already taken out that way. Special Forces will definitely be coming home in body bags if they try to extract him from mountain caves. If he's killed we'll probably never know for sure who was behind it.

From the timing, training required and final results it seems more likely that a state was behind it, rather than random cells directed a guy who didn't even use his cellphone, much less surf the Internet embedding messages in free porn sites.

The most likely state is Iraq, which is starting to emerge from the Stone Age of the Gulf War carnage. Saddam's not saying much, but again he was our boy in power and Bush Senior's buddy when he was slaughtering Iranians in the 1980s. The CIA helped him consolidate power with lists of Communists and Jews to kill, and biological agents to kill Kurds and Iranians were sold to him by an American company with Dick Cheney and Hillary Clinton on the board of directors.

If this is a tit for tat war with Iraq we are way ahead on kill ratios, besides we're going to bomb Saddam out of habit as soon as we get Osama Dead or Alive.

Then the Evil One won't be nearly so upset about US troops in the Holy Land, Mecca, Saudi Arabia, and his primary reason for declaring war on us. American soldiers were first stationed there when Iraq invaded Kuwait because they were slant drilling into Iraqi oil deposits.

We still have troops in Saudi Arabia, to prop up the corrupt royal family we helped bring to power. They will soon fall to Islamic fundamentalists like the Shah of Iran's repressive coup we backed to prevent Iranian nationalists taking over oil companies, (a lot of good it did).

The threat of Iranian ayatollahs dominating the region was the main reason the Bush/Reagan regime kept Saddam supplied with weapons, and didn't take him out with Desert Storm. The Shah's secret police generated most of the opposition that brought him down and was trained by General Schwarzkopf's father.

Not So Secret Plans

Afghanistan is pretty much rubble already, but the real plan is to put a regime in Afghanistan that can sign a contract to keep Unocal's oil pipeline protected along with profits of international mining companies drooling over it's mineral wealth. (Wishful thinking when you consider their history.) We'll let Moderate Muslims rule the rubble, they can grow some heroin poppies on the side and oh yeah, let women show off their mustaches at least, without getting beaten. Besides we've got cosmetics for that unsightly problem and disposable razors for those scraggly beards.

Suspicious, Dark Skinned People With An Accent

It's true that kids in Palestinian refugee camps were dancing in delight that was big news on CNN. The Israeli men arrested in New York City for cheering and dancing while videotaping the burning wreckage of the Twin Towers was a smaller story, (The Jerusalem Post initially claimed as many as 4,000 Israeli citizens could have been inside, finally whittled down to only 4 Israeli missing.) The cheering observers were held and questioned for days until the Israeli embassy demanded their release.

The conspiracy theory popular in the Muslim world is that the Israeli Mossad was behind the hijackings. They are an intelligence agency that really gets a bang for the $4 billion bucks a year Americans give to Israel every year.

Of course the Muslims blame Israel for everything, easier than torching their own governments for their misery. Israel does have a history of betraying American friendship. This seems beyond even their mendacity, justified by them as necessary to survive in a region that swears to drive them into the sea.

Most Muslims believe only Zionist influence over American politics explains the failure of every American president since Carter to force Israel to follow international law, give up all occupied territories and allow the rightful owners of the lands they've taken by force to return.

For the hundred's of billions we've given Israel in the last forty years we could have paid off the Palestinians the land was stolen from. Instead we've spent it on weapons for Israel, which they've used to kill and blind Palestinian children.

This has earned us the enmity of most Muslim countries we haven't bought off and even the ones we have. If all the money Muslims have spent on terrorism and useless UN resolutions had been used to bribe or defeat US politicians like the Zionists, they wouldn't have Israel to blame for their problems. Probably why they haven't.

Although most Jews aren't Semitic (Arabic), there are Sephardic Jews who can pass for Arabs, but so could Tamil Tiger's trained and supplied by India to commit suicide bombings in Sri Lanka.

It could have been Pakistani terrorists or Hindus who have grudges against American policies. India and Pakistan are ready to start a nuclear war over Kashmir just because they can. Pakistan appears ready to fall to Muslim extremists as we bomb their neighbors and relatives in Afghanistan. Global wind patterns will contaminate the Northern Hemisphere with even more radioactive fallout, if that happens. Same with Israel's stolen nuclear weapons, which they might use before giving up an inch of the Holy Land.

Turban wearing Sikhs have committed suicide bombings and they have no love for Hindus or Muslims, both of whom will lose big time because of this. Panamanians still hate us for killing 5,000 civilians to grab Bush's buddy Pineapple Face Noriega. It's unlikely he's behind it, being buried deeper in some secret hole than Osama. There are always dark skinned Colombian guerrillas that we're at war with already, temporarily forgotten but still bombing away.

There are just so many fighting roosters that American policies have helped to hatch that the hen house is pretty well fucked.

 

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